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🚨 URGENT: Mere Orthodoxy Needs YOUR Help

You voted?

November 4th, 2008 | 3 min read

By Keith E. Buhler

The national badge of pride today is the ubiquitous, modest, and yet glorious sticker sporting the (short and yet complete) sentence: "I voted."

Anyone sporting this sticker is rewarded not only with the pride of civic duty accomplished, but free free donuts, free Baskin Robbins, and free Starbucks.

But less known are the following related (complete-sentence) stickers...

The Original Flavor
The Original Flavor

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Sticker for the Winner of the 2007 Annual Canada Chili Eating Contest:

Winner of the Canada Chili Eating Contest: "I Bloated" "I bloated"

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First-time Sky-Diver Sticker:

"I floated"
"I floated"

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Sticker given to those who help the environment by using "green" grocery bags  instead of the traditional plastic:

"I toted"
"I toted"

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Sticker worn by God two days after the world-wide deluge:

"I smoted"
"I smoted"

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But who will get to wear the second-most-coveted, most glorious, sticker yet...?

"I...
... gloated"
...gloated?"