While researching for an article on marriage that I am writing, I came upon this abstract:

Recent studies have found that mimicking the verbal and nonverbal behavior of strangers enhances their liking of the individual who mimicked them. An experiment was carried out in two bars during six sessions of speed dating for which young women confederates volunteered to mimic or not some verbal expressions and nonverbal behaviors of a man for 5 minutes. Data revealed that the men evaluated the dating interaction more positively when the woman mimicked them, and that mimicry was associated with a higher evaluation score of the relation and the sexual attractiveness of the woman. Mimicry appears to influence perceptions of physical attributes in addition to personal and social attributes.

I don’t have access to the full article, but the abstract is enticing. Additional proof, I suppose, of the thesis that what men really want is…themselves.

(via the new journal National Affairs)

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Posted by Matthew Lee Anderson

Matthew Lee Anderson is the Founder and Lead Writer of Mere Orthodoxy. He is the author of Earthen Vessels: Why Our Bodies Matter to our Faith and The End of Our Exploring: A Book about Questioning and the Confidence of Faith. Follow him on Twitter or on Facebook.

7 Comments

  1. You’ve never heard of this tactic? Mirroring body language is mentioned by virtually every dispenser of advice on dating (and effective salesmanship).

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  2. Women, if you want a man to like you, try…mimicking him (seriously): http://bit.ly/40E72Z

    This comment was originally posted on Twitter

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  3. Only in the sales world have I heard this advice–not in dating. But then, I don’t really bother to read most pop-dispensers of advice on dating, as I generally prefer my own. : )

    Good to see you make an appearance here at Mere-O again, though. It’s been a while. It figures that dating would bring you back……

    matt

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  4. Ladies, if you really want to snag a fellow, try acting exactly like him! http://bit.ly/40E72Z (RT @mattleeanderson)

    This comment was originally posted on Twitter

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  5. I’ve heard similar techniques described for active listening… and I use them. It just makes sense. Also, for this study to be worth much there needs to be a study on whether women react the same way.

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  6. Love, Mimicry, and Men | Mere Orthodoxy: Data revealed that the men evaluated the dating interaction more positi.. http://bit.ly/h2w91

    This comment was originally posted on Twitter

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  7. While we’re on the subject, have you seen Adventureland or 500 Days of Summer? Both are very different approaches to a similar premise: a sensitive boy who believes in romance and true love falls in with a jaded girl who doesn’t.

    I find the role reversal refreshing (maybe because I am those boys) but both films are superior to the usual fare for other reasons. Neither wears the rom-com label easily. Reviews of both are on my blog but I’d encourage you to see 500 Days if it is still out as it is the more memorable an daring.

    While Adventureland’s approach is intentionally distant and observational, 500 Days is the rare film that conveys the felt experience of its events rather than just indifferently depicts them as plot points, as most rom-coms do.

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