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Kichijiro Was Right

September 6th, 2022 | 6 min read

By Matthew Loftus

You’ve probably heard this one before: a masked gunman bursts into church one day and fires a few rounds into the ceiling. “Everyone who believes in Jesus is getting shot today! Everyone who wants to deny Him can leave!” He gives the terrified congregation a minute to sort themselves out, with the apostates running for the door as he clears the pews, demanding to know if those who are staying truly believes. After only the tearful true believers remain, he announces: “Hey pastor, I got rid of all the hypocrites for you. Have a great service!”

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Matthew Loftus

Matthew Loftus teaches and practices Family Medicine in Baltimore and East Africa. His work has been featured in Christianity Today, Comment, & First Things and he is a regular contributor for Christ and Pop Culture. You can learn more about his work and writing at