Note: Some of these Options are better than others.

The Wolsey Option

Through an excess of personal ambition, tie your whole career to the favor of an unpredictable and potentially vicious master. Lose his favor anyway.

The Cromwell Option

Facilitate your master’s bizarre, persistent and destructive attraction to a sexy fascinating Pepe-meme generating femme fatale whose appeal has to do with the pleasure of transgression, leading to huge rents in the social fabric and the overturning of established norms of behavior.

The Edward Option

DOUBLE DOWN

The Mary Option

ROLLBACK

The More Option

If, in the context of your work, it is conceivable that you might receive a 3 a.m. order to… oh, hit this button, say; deploy that weapons system… and that refusing such an order could potentially trigger a court martial, rehearse saying the following phrase: “The King’s good servant, but God’s first.”

The Elizabeth Option

Keep your own counsel. Don’t deliberately alienate anyone.  Bind together a fractured nation full of mutually antagonistic, mistrustful and confused people. Carve out a space for the preaching of the Gospel. Reform, with moderation and prudence. Seek the common good. Trust God. And survive.

Susannah Black received her BA from Amherst College and her MA from Boston University. She is associate editor of Providence Magazine and of the Davenant Trust’s journal Ad Fontes, is a founding editor of Solidarity Hall (which now appears as The Dorothy Option on Patheos), and is on the Board of the Distributist Review. Her writing has appeared in First Things, The Distributist Review, Solidarity Hall, Providence, Amherst Magazine, Front Porch Republic, Ethika Politika, The Human Life Review, The American Conservative, and elsewhere. She blogs at Radio Free Thulcandra and tweets at @suzania. A native Manhattanite, she is now living in Queens.

Posted by Guest Writer

  • Excellent. It’s like watching “The Tudors” all over again. ;-)

  • Alastair J Roberts

    Hilarious! :-)

    You might also like this.

  • PeterAS

    “Some of these Options are better than others.”

    That’s so judgmental. Choice must always reign supreme.

    You Cromwell-phobic hater, you.

    Begone, begone, I say!

    I hereby renounce all association between us and banish you from my social media presence, now and forever!

    • PeterAS

      (Basking in my pristine state of righteousness.)

  • Greg Herr

    The XXII Amendment Option. No need to tap the Brits…they’re a little tapped out as it is.

  • Rhys Laverty

    My history teaching fiancee’s addition to the Elizabeth Option: “make friends with the Muslims”