By Eric Hutchinson
“Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?”–King Solomon
“We should be friends,” quoth Potiphar’s wife;
but Joseph turned, and ran for his life.
“Avoidance is not purity!,”
she cried; but he ignored her plea.
King Solomon, on the other hand,
was less obsessed with his wedding band.
“Self-centered codes are deeply flawed–
Thy commandment’s, um, exceeding broad!”
Now: which of them is more in line
with the spirit of our urbane time?
Old Joseph the neanderthal,
Or Solomon (around nightfall)?
Joseph, he’s so dull and boring;
Solomon is clearly soaring.
Joseph, writing Pence fan fiction;
“Time to join the modern age!
Increase the minimum wage!
Down with the patriarchy!
Its manners are indeed beastly!
My advice: make lots of pals,
a polyphonic friend chorale!”
And so, dear readers, you can see
the choice in front of you and me.
To be like Joseph? That’s a shame.
But Solomon? Well, he’s got game–
his dad was rich, sent him to Yale,
while rustic Joseph went to jail.
Eric Hutchinson is Assistant Professor of Classics at Hillsdale College.