To make a trivial claim, it’s important for us to learn from the difficult and painful experiences that we encounter.
Of course, it’s important to learn the right lessons.
Consider the unfortunate marriage of Sana and Adnan Klaric, a Bosnian family. They have recently learned that they were each pursuing another relationship online, and so are filing for divorce. They have (appropriately?) accused each other of being unfaithful, and have doubtlessly “learned” the tendentious nature of love and romance.
How did they each discover that that the other person was cheating?
“I was suddenly in love. It was amazing. We seemed to be stuck in the same kind of miserable marriage. How right that turned out to be,” Sana, 27, said.
Adnan, 32, said: “I still find it hard to believe that Sweetie, who wrote such wonderful things, is actually the same woman I married and who has not said a nice word to me for years”.
What lesson should they have learned? That ultimately, you get what you deserve. They were quite clearly perfect for each other, in every way imaginable.
The situation, of course, also raises this difficult ethical dilemma. Let’s just say that pursuing a romantic relationship with a person online is unethical for the moment. We can have that argument later. Here’s the dilemma: if you are “emotionally unfaithful” with someone online, and it turns out that person is your spouse, have you actually been “unfaithful?” Those are the questions worth pondering.