Skip to main content

🚨 URGENT: Mere Orthodoxy Needs YOUR Help

Donald in Wonderland

September 7th, 2019 | 2 min read

By Susannah Black Roberts

Hands-down best analysis of Trump to Christians in 2016 that I’ve come across; not a bad picture of the post-Christian right to Christians in general. Go here.

Well hello, there, it’s me
With how it’s gonna be
Settle down and listen up good

The old Hatter is gone
But the Hat must go on
Worn by me, is that understood?

So shut up and toe the line
While I redefine
How this all will be mine

I have a dream
That’s got a full head of steam!

What is true what is not
Can both change in a shot
And people, me
I couldn’t care less

‘Cause in two seconds flat
Livin’ under my hat
Is the strategy for success

I will look the other way
When you want to play
Something more than croquet
You catch my drift?
My little personal gift!

I’m the Mad Hatter
Come and follow me, this is it
The Mad Hatter
All you gotta do is submit
And if you don’t my friend
Well then in the end
There’ll be nothing left to defend
Know what I mean?
When you are facing the Queen

Uppercase, double-spaced
Everyone gets a taste
And a brand new leather hat band

But to participate
Let me reiterate
You must first put me in command

I’m the wonder, understand
Under Wonderland
Put the reins in my hand
I’ll do the rest
As soon as you’ve acquiesced!

I’m the Mad Hatter
Offering a little bit more
The Mad Hatter
Giving you what you’re looking for

I am your best worst case
For the choice you face
And the fastest rat in the race!
It’s me or the queen
And her serene guillotine

There is nothing I won’t do
There is nothing too taboo
I will lie, I will cheat
I will track you down
And then hit delete tout suite!
So sweetie let me repeat…

I’m the Mad Hatter
Pledge allegiance while you still can
The Mad Hatter
More than just a hat with a plan
I am where you belong
The right kind of wrong
And I’ll still be going real strong!

The bottom line
Is everything will be fine
As all the planets align
It’s gonna be so divine
When all of this will be mine!

Susannah Black Roberts

Susannah Black Roberts is senior editor at Plough. She is a native Manhattanite. She and her husband, the theologian Alastair Roberts, split their time between Manhattan and the West Midlands of the UK.