God, Nature, Evolution, or whatever has so ordained that we come to the most interesting conclusions only means of the most boring arguments, and that the most immediately fun and interesting topics of conversation take us to the most boring of places. This is why Thomas Aquinas is so famous yet so arduous to read, and why, though a delightful story-teller, in one or two decades no one will know Doug Greshm’s name. This is also why the State of the Union is heard, remembered, criticized, praised, and otherwise discussed for weeks, though it is dry, slow, and dull to listen to, and stand-up comics (except for a few memorable phrases, repeated for a quick laugh) are fun, zesty, and interesting to listen to, but have little lasting effect on the audience other than removing the burden of a few idle minutes and a few extra dollars.
Begrudgingly, and nobly accepting this fact, I have resolved to prove, by meticulous argument proceeding from universally accepted premises, advancing only the clearest and most precise inferences, the following inevitable divine truth: God only allows human beings to keep good things at which they are able to laugh.
Premise #1: God (or the universe, or nature, or whatever) is good.
Corollary #1: God (etc.) wants to give all good things for human beings, and no bad things.
Premise #2: The same good thing may be beneficial or detrimental to two different human beings, depending on the human being’s capacity (ie how they handle it, respond, etc.)
Corollary #2: Human beings can appropriately handle some things, and not others.
Corollary #3: Human beings can learn to handle things well that they didn’t before, and forget to handle well what before they did.
Premise #4: Some things are just funny. As in, actually funny. Intrinsically funny. Universally and absolutely funny, silly and giddy. Objectively worthy of laughter, mirth, sometimes even mockery and playful imitation.
Corollary #1: Some things are not funny.
Premise #5: To laugh at unfunny things is inappropriate.
Corollary #1: To not laugh at funny things is equally inappropriate.
Conclusion #1: Wanting only good things, it follows that He (they, it, whatever) will give a good thing to a human being if and only if he has the capacity to handle it appropriately.
Corollary #1: If we do not have some good thing, it is possible to learn (in time) to handle it appropriately, and we will eventually receive it.
Corollary #2: If we have some good thing, it is possible to forget or cease how to handling it appropriately, and we will eventually lose it.
Premise #6: If God (etc.) gives us a good thing that is funny, silly, zany, dumb, and mockable, and we fail to laugh at it, then we will lose it.
Premise #7: Money, for instance, is a good thing.
Premise #8: Money, for another instance, is a laughable thing. Funny, dumb, ridiculous, chuckle-worthy, at times even absolutely hilarious.
Conclusion #2: If God (etc.) gives us money, and we laugh at it, we will keep it.
Corollary #1: If we do not laugh at it, we will lose it.
Q.E.D.
