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# stopping adultery with honesty - Doctors Without Boredom
- URL: https://mereorthodoxy.com/matthewloftus-2018-12-04-stopping-adultery-honesty/
- Published: 2018-12-04T09:12:32.000Z
- Updated: 2026-04-22T16:41:48.000Z
- Description: Judy Wu Dominick shares her story at Christianity Today about telling her husband that she had feelings for another man: Looking back, it’s not surprising it happened. I was in the midst of a major identity shift that was changing the […]
- Author: Mere Orthodoxy
- Tags: Matthew Loftus, Family, Ethics

Judy Wu Dominick [shares her story](https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2018/november-web-only/extramarital-attraction-feelings-another-man-adultery.html?share=sPA3L7lvfFASzOJpCGe1LniQ3RbR7%2b7Y&ref=mereorthodoxy.com) at Christianity Today about telling her husband that she had feelings for another man:

> Looking back, it’s not surprising it happened. I was in the midst of a major identity shift that was changing the way I saw myself and how I fit in the world. After learning previously unknown stories of my family, I had come to embrace my Taiwanese heritage—a development that caused me to abandon many of my long-held beliefs about race, class, money, power, and social responsibility. The opinions and ideas that had once fostered solidarity between my husband, Peter, and me were now a source of friction.  
>  
> At home, I constantly felt hurt, misunderstood, and frustrated. I prayed about these negative feelings, but doing so didn’t magically erase the pain and isolation caused by not feeling seen or understood by my life partner. I still loved Peter and knew he loved me, but an ideological and personal chasm had opened up between us.  
>  
> Now, some other man had listened to what I had to say and had given me nothing but validation. When the desire to keep that feeling alive provoked a deep longing, I knew I was in trouble. Before I even put my key into the ignition, I reached for my phone, called Peter at work, and told him about the conversation, who I had it with, and what I was feeling. He didn’t miss a beat. He thanked me for letting him know about it and said we would talk more when he got home.